Seeing the Light even in the people we disagree with
I recently had the chance to talk about life and service work with our newest staff member—Peace Program Coordinator, Mel Burns. The topics ranged from light reading and podcasts to seeing the Light in people we disagree with or find challenging.
Matt: What has it been like joining the CFSC staff?
Mel: I’ve been delighted by the incredible depth of knowledge and experience on the staff team. I’ve remarked to many of my friends that it feels like I’m working with my heroes everyday, and those heroes are equally (and strangely) excited to work with me too. The sense of excitement among all the staff to see the work of CFSC flourish is tangible, and infectious.
Matt: What is your connection to Quakerism?
Mel: I first discovered Quakers while living in New Zealand through a 12-step group hosted at the Meeting House in Auckland. I remember feeling very at “peace” there, and intrigued by the style of worship/sharing. It reminded me greatly of how many Indigenous communities use the shape of a circle to create safety and equity. I didn’t start intentionally exploring Quakerism until just before the pandemic. I was excited to find a small worship group in my city and found the group a much needed balm during a rough period of transition in my life. As a queer person, it was one of the few faith-based spaces where I felt safe and nurtured. Following that first venture into Meetings, I’ve been a regular, and a fully “convinced” Quaker since 2020.
Matt: What drew you to working for CFSC?
Mel: I was actually a CFSC member when this staff position became available. I had recently quit my previous job to focus on completing my master’s degree and thesis work, which is related to Quaker decision-making processes. I thought this role at CFSC would fit beautifully with that goal.
Quaker decision-making seeks unity rather than a simple majority. The emphasis is on reaching a decision that everyone can support (or at least accept as what the Meeting has decided, even if it’s not their preferred outcome). Members present are encouraged to participate and share their perspectives. There is no hierarchy, and everyone’s voice is valued.
Quakers also believe that decisions should be guided by the Inner Light or Spirit. Silence and reflection play a crucial role in discerning this guidance and building unity until a decision can be reached. When a decision is reached, it is considered to be the “sense of the Meeting.” It reflects the collective discernment and wisdom of the group.
I’m studying this unity-based decision-making in the Religious Society of Friends globally. I hope to create a new theory of change model for peacebuilding that centers on unity as opposed to consensus, clarifies the differences, and clearly speaks to the behavioural science around psychological safety as a key element required for changes of opinion/ideology to occur in a lasting manner.
I’m very passionate about the need for peace education to be more “mainstream” in Canada, and this opportunity to live out the academic work through real-world engagement at CFSC was one I couldn’t pass up!
Matt: What initiatives are you currently working on?
Mel: Right now, CFSC’s peace work has a few key areas of focus. One is launching a new conflict-transformation tool based off the content found in the book Are We Done Fighting?. We plan to provide a series of simple tips for high-quality conflict as short videos released weekly for a whole year. This is an exciting project because the content will be accessible to both Quakers and non-Quakers alike and requires no prior knowledge of conflict resolution or Nonviolent Communication.
Additionally, we want to refocus some of our efforts on a coherent and regular peace education offering for people who have various levels of knowledge. This will take some time to build, but I’m excited for the outcome and for a wider audience of people to be exposed to our peace testimony.
Matt: What are you reading these days?
Mel: Honestly, mostly academic papers/articles and books related to my thesis—such is the life of a student. But when I’m walking, I will often listen to podcasts and audiobooks, with some of my current favourites being some CBC offerings such as Ideas, Quirks and Quarks, and What on Earth. I also enjoy listening to the Ologies podcast by Alie Ward and also recently finished the audio-book version of Are We Done Fighting? (yes, that is a blatant plug as many may not know it’s available in that format!). Finally, when my brain is tired of learning, I enjoy digging into a Brandon Sanderson novel before bed.
“The Divine can appear in unexpected ways in every human we encounter. It can be really hard to see that image from far away. We have to get real close.”
Matt: What do you do outside of work and study?
Mel: I walk for at least an hour every day, both for the benefit of being outside in nature with my favourite tree-friends and to appease the demands of my Australian Shepard (Rosie). My toddler is currently very into playgrounds, and we are lucky enough to live in a city with lots to choose from. Many weekends are spent exploring them and playing in Rockwood Park (acres and acres of trails and parkland in the center of St John, New Brunswick). I also enjoy the local music and food scene, and can be found with the whole family every Friday after working hours at our favourite local music hall (it’s toddler approved).
Matt: If you could ask people reading this article to take action on something today, what would that be?
Mel: I’d like to ask people to stop some of the low-consciousness “actions” they might be taking (e.g. forwarding emails/newsletters, sharing clickable but low-complexity articles/pictures/memes on social media, signing letters to government without any other engagement on the issue, etc.).
Instead, I’d urge them to get very local, and to build deep, respectful, and reciprocal relationships with the people around them, who might appear to be on the “other end” of the political or life-experience spectrum.
Quakers believe there is “that of God/Light/Spirit” in everyone—even the people we disagree with the most. If we are also each unique, then that image of the Divine can appear in unexpected ways in every human we encounter. It can be really hard to see that image from far away. We have to get real close, and to do that, we have to make time for relationship over action. We have to be generous with giving our time and attention to those who can appear as “other,” daring to learn from them and, perhaps, be changed by the image of the Divine we encounter. Then our action can become one of love and service, rooted in relationships.
Matthew Legge is CFSC’s Communications Coordinator.
